


If I Don't Need to Fix You, You Aren't Broken

by NerdWithPersonality



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 09:11:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8618419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdWithPersonality/pseuds/NerdWithPersonality
Summary: This story is about Victor finding out that Yuri is asexual. Comforting him about it when he feels upset that he can't love Victor in the way Yuri thinks he needs.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [laurel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurel/gifts).



Yuri loved Victor, he wanted to deny it, at least that's what he thought he thought, but if he really thought about what he thought he thought, maybe, he thought, that's not really what he thought. Confused? So was Yuri. He never wanted to deny Victor, he would give him the world and then some if he felt he wanted it, he wouldn't even have to ask Yuri to get it, but he would do it anyway, just because that's how he was. Giving Victor things wasn't what put Yuri off kilter, far from it, it was giving himself to Victor that phased him. He really wanted to show Victor how much he meant, and by God did he mean a lot, but how could he do that if he was such a baby.

How could he do that in a meaningful way if even the thought of making out was so other worldly to him, thinking too deeply about it made him feel alienated, disgusted even. He felt like an overly sheltered child.  
He hadn't even tried it, how could he be so sure he'd hate it, everyone else would never shut up about it, so why was he different. Why couldn't he understand why every person wanted to fuck to the other. He felt broken, he felt that maybe that's what made him a failure in so many other unconnected things that somehow were connected to him. Don't want sex, that's probably why he failed as a skater. Don't like sex, that's probably why he was so socially awkward. He felt alone, and that was his fault.

  
It's not like he hadn't tried to like it, he really did try, really fucking hard, when Victor kissed him, he tried to act as into it as he could. Like right now. Victor seemed to be enjoying himself he thought, that was until his brain turned away from what he was thinking to deeply about and back to the present. Victor was staring at him, staring rather confused at him. "Why'd you stop, did I do something wrong?" the Brunet asked scared he'd messed up at something, again. He waited for a reply, Victor just, he just kept staring, it felt uncomfortable, it made Yuri want to squirm.

  
The silence broke when Victor leaned forward, Yuri preparing himself for another kiss, closing his eyes. His lips weren't met with another pair. A hand placed itself endearingly on Yuri's right cheek instead and stroked softly back and forth, in small comforting movements. Yuri let out the breath he had been holding deep within his chest. "You don't like this do you Yuri?" the man in question opened his eyes to fix them to the floor to hide the slight shock and worry they most likely conveyed. "I, I do," he said far to weakly to be considered truthful, but from Victor's matter of fact tone, he knew he wouldn't win, "don't lie to me Yuri, please."

  
Victor's hand slid down to the younger mans chin and held it delicately, raising it so they were eye level. When Yuri's eyes moved to look at him, his pupils felt like lead, the backs of them scratching his brain in a mixture of nerves and a feeling close to relief, but in no way comforting. He felt if he had to name the time that he had felt the most uneasily, this would be it. When their eyes locked together, Victor tilting his head to the side, much like the dog he owned, he spoke again. "It's okay not to like sex Yuri, or anything sexual for that matter, you know that don't you?"

  
Did he?

  
Those two words reverberated around his head, a crack of thunder that echoed against the sides of his most private thoughts. Did he know that, had he ever even thought of that? He felt his skull cracking from the pressure, the violent cycle of words screeching in his head. Squeezing and scratching away at the very sanity he possessed that was now too stretched to work. Then it began to rain. His eyes no longer felt like lead, they were spheres of sandpaper, the water hot across his face like a summer shower.

  
Victor sat there and took in the sight of the storm Yuri's body was unleashing. He wondered if someone hurt Yuri to make him feel this way. "Yuri?" he asked, but when he was met with no reply he placed his hands on the back of the other skaters neck. "Yuri, look at me okay," his words soft like a small hum of comfort. Victor almost wished he hadn't asked, Yuri's eyes looked like wilting flowers, something that should be their beautiful colour, but had turned sickly grey, clouded over, and now they were locked on his.

  
"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry I'm broken, I'm sorry if you don't want me anymore."

  
He was taken aback. To not want Yuri was a concept Victor couldn't even understand in the slightest. "Yuri, if you're broken, that would mean there would be something you'd need to change. Don't."   
"But,"   
"No buts Yuri, not one."   
"But doesn't it inconvenience you, I know you want to leave so why don't you just leave, I knew this would happen, go on, this is where everything falls apart, this is why no one ever wanted to go out with me in the first place once it was all around school that I was too shy to get fucked, so why are you different!" His outburst overflew with raw, gut emotion, his mind vomited up all the toxic words that had been sitting in it for just under a decade. His throat was pained, the words burning on their way out, searing his tongue and making him silent in return, making him wait for some kind of reply that he almost hoped would agree with the burning ache.

  
Call me broken. Leave me. Go on, be honest. Say it, I know you want to. Hurt me. Do it. His mind taunted the other man silently, yet screaming.

  
Victor held Yuri's hand gently, the Russian remained eye contact with him even though Yuri's eyes had wondered to the site of Victors actions. His little finger was hooked with the others and when the brunet looked up to see the blonde looking at him he bit his cheek, waiting.

  
"I pinkie promise that I will never leave you, I promise I've never thought about doing it, and I promise I never will, because I still have yet to be presented with a valid reason to."  
Though Yuri had just managed to stop crying, it didn't count for much. Tears returning, Victors face worried until the other began to laugh, causing him to give a warm smile. "You really don't mind, like at all?" Yuri said with the voice as innocent as a child much younger than him, filled with hope he didn't quite want to hang onto just yet. "Yes Yuri, I really meant it." He smiled the happiest smile Victor had seen.

  
"You should probably stop moving around on my crouch though."  
"Oh, sorry."


End file.
